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ME/CFS South Australia Inc supports the needs of sufferers of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and related illnesses. We do this by providing services and information to members.
Disclaimer
ME/CFS South Australia Inc aims to keep members informed of various research projects, diets, medications, therapies, news items, etc. All communication, both verbal and written, is merely to disseminate information and not to make recommendations or directives.
Unless otherwise stated, the views expressed on this Web site are not necessarily the official views of the Society or its Committee and are not simply an endorsement of products or services.
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How Grief And Health Challenges Have Pushed Me To Become My Own Hero
Friday 27 July 2018
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How Grief and Health Challenges Have Pushed Me to Become My Own Hero
It’s 5 a.m. and I have had the cumulative sleep of close to three hours. I was in the middle of my ritual of taking my meds, stretching and skimming through The Mighty for articles I hadn’t read before, when I came across a few articles about fibro and work. I’m fortunate that I can still work, even though it is part-time.
While I didn’t disclose my illness at the time I was hired, my coworkers have been understanding since they found out. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to work for the company I do. I run on the physics law that “an object in motion tends to stay in motion.”
I still get asked why I’m always tired, if my lack of sleep is self-imposed or if my kids are keeping me up, or I get asked why I come to work feeling like crap and if I’m sick. Occasionally, I get teased about them staying away from me because they don’t want what I have. But all I really have to do is tell them it’s a fibro thing, and we move on.
The company has been a blessing in my life beyond my limitations and illness. Until recently I had a partner in life. When he passed away unexpectedly my supervisor and coworkers jumped in and covered for me without being asked, and everyone was concerned when I went back to work “so quickly.” If I can’t make it through the day, or even one of my stores on my route, someone is happy to step up and help out. They don’t care if it’s grief- or fibro-related. While there isn’t usually more than one of us at a time in any one place, my company has been amazing about having someone there if I flare-up mid-shift.
A week ago, however, I was in an extra low place emotionally. I was back to sad and angry on the grief cycle when one of my kids walked past the coffee table and knocked a book mark onto the floor. “Be the hero of your own story.” It got me thinking, was I being my own hero? Was I being my kids’ hero? Of course, it set off a fresh rush of tears – How could I be my own hero? If I lost my ability to work, what would I do? Fibromyalgia is notoriously difficult to get disability for, and I would still have to wait for years to be accepted if I did manage to get it.
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